My Home in Israel

I started off the New Year with an interesting holiday. Other than lack of babysitting at the synagogue, we had some other noteworthy events.

For the first time ever, I cooked a whole chicken! It was a great recipe with ginger, honey and red wine. Yum….I still don’t like touching raw meat, but I bought a big box of the hospital-type rubber gloves, and it came out okay.

I also cooked the main dish for two of the three other meals, and made all the sides for four meals! I took advantage of take-out for one of the meals.

So food-wise is was a great time. I even made taiglach (not this recipe) (for the third time in my life) and this year I didn’t burn it!

But…..I made a mistake. In the imortal words of somebody, no good deed goes unpunished. I saw a posting on JANGLO that organization X was looking for families to host high school aged students. I checked with hubby, and found someone who could house them, and thought it would be great having some kids to socialize with, and enjoy the holiday.

I told the organizer (on Tuesday) “A” that we were religious, and she asked if we were willing to take boys. I said that would be fine. On Friday night a different person called and told me it would be two girls. Also fine by me. He said they would be coming on Friday at 2 and they would have a letter for me. He called me back on Friday morning to confirm everything, and said “if there are any problems during the weekend, you can call me” but, I said “it would have to be a serious problem because we are religious, and don’t use the phone on holidays.” This was the first sign that things were going to be problematic.

When they arrived, I looked at the letter, and realized I was to be a policewoman…they couldn’t go “over the green line”, or the old city, or Machane Yehuda, and we were not supposed to let them walk around alone. Sigh…Hubby and the girls took the guests for a walk, while I finished cleaning up the kitchen.

That night they came to a bit of synagogue services, and I stayed outside, so little one wouldn’t interrupt. Hubby lead the davening, and did a beautiful (although unrehearsed) job. Hubby felt sick that night so he went to sleep before dinner was truly underway (yep, he didn’t get the roast chicken). My girls went to sleep as well, and the guests left at 9PM before Birkat Hamazon. Lets just say I was rather lonely that night.

Saturday morning, I went to synagogue with my girls. Hubby was still sick, and the guests were given directions where to go. We picked them up at the place they were staying. They were still in bed at noon. They went back for a second nap shortly after eating, and were with us for dinner. I don’t remember much about dinner, (Hubby had been revived by lunch) but they didn’t say much.

Friends of ours tried to get them to go out with other kids in our neighborhood that night—they might have gone, I don’t know. The next day, we woke them up around 12:45 and they almost didn’t speak at all. One slipped and mentioned they had gone to the 24 hour mini-market. (About a 20 min. walk from our house.) After that her cell phone rang a few times, and the other girl suggested they go outside to answer it. One girl said that the host family of another classmate was going to pick them up, and that the counselor for their program said they could go. At this point, there wasn’t any point in arguing, so I let them go. (In a taxi, with the other kid–no family in sight.)

So where did this leave me? My girls were crying..they couldn’t understand why they left early. There were even some grumblings from the big girl regarding, why are we religious. I felt used, and disappointed. I spoke to a close friend who said I did the right thing, and that the program organizers needed to know what happened.

Well, the next day–Monday, I received a message from “A” apologizing about any “unpleasantness” that might have occurred. This was without having received any information from me. I called her back today, told her that she shouldn’t have put non-religious students with a religious family–unless they were actually interested in learning or experiencing something. (Did I mention these girls go to a Jewish High School?) She apologized profusely, and when I said I didn’t want to be on their list for hosting in the future, she said she understood completely.

Then why do I still feel like crap?

Well, since the event has passed, I’ve decided to fill in the blanks and let you know where everything stands.

1. The event I was trying to publicize/organize was to get the moms to take turns watching each other’s kids at Rosh Hashana davening.

2. The only people who ended up showing interest were the people I spoke to in-person over the few days before the holiday. (Zero response to the e-mail message the person sent out)

3. The room we were promised contained paint cans/sukka poles and was completely unsuitable for childcare.

4. The three or four of us, did watch each other’s children on the first day, and a bit on the second day.

Net Results: I did hear the shofar blowing service (with my little one in arms), and I did get one amida in on each day (not musaf, but that isn’t the end of the world). The woman in question has been very nice to me lately, and I think I can get over this.

The next issue is how to explain to an older shul board the importance of providing a space for childcare/parents. I have friends who needed a place to nurse, and others who would have preferred being indoors with their small children.

Who knows what will be with Yom Kippur…I first need to determine what my expectations of the day are, and then how I can best meet them. Being a mom on Yom Kippur is very different than any other individual.